Homebase Magazine Issue #49 Fall, 1997

Table of Contents

Dear Homebase - an expanded edition of letters from our readers

Editorial

by Lisa Menard

Well, the construction pit (a.k.a. our basement) is now a beautiful finished family space with Rowan happily moved into her new bedroom. Rhys and Rae argue about who gets to use the new shower first (and for how long) but since Ken supervises this activity I just wave goodbye as they head downstairs. Rhys has taken over his new bedroom with obvious pleasure and seems quite thrilled to be in charge of his own toys and area. A few weeks ago Rhys was playing in his room when I stopped by to deliver his clean laundry. In a world of his own, Rhys was startled when I put down the clothes basket. He said to me, "Mom, you scared me out of my wimps!" Not wanting to hurt his feelings I diplomatically headed to my room where I muffled my laughter with a pillow.

Thankfully, the weather has warmed up enough to garden comfortably. As soon as I finish this editorial I'm off to plant next year's crop of daffodils, tulips, scilla and crocus. Thinking of how beautiful they'll look in the Spring helps get me through the grey days of February. Before you head off to the rest of this fabulous issue, read on to find out more about bringing MAW closer to your community.

MAW has received several inquiries from members about setting up chapters, reading and discussion groups, and holding workshops in their communities. At present, MAW has a regional chapter in the Hamilton, Ontario, area (see the Regional MAW Report for more information) which is currently holding local events. We also have interested members in Mississauga, Ontario, and Carleton Place, Ontario, who would like to hear from MAW members in their areas in order to get something happening. If you'd like to get together with other MAW members and start a group, let us know and we'll put you in touch with interested members in your community. Your name will only be shared if you request it.

Why We Have Hesitated In Creating MAW Chapters

It has been our experience that starting small and focused has been the best route for creating successful groups. It is important to have a dedicated core of volunteers and, in order to develop this, we believe a reading or discussion group is the best place to start. As you get to know each other, you will take on more responsibilities and determine what issues most interest your individual group. You may then wish to organize a workshop for the larger community as a way of expanding your membership. When you take this route, you quickly find out just how much time and energy goes into these events and how much time you have to work on this project.
All labour for MAW activities is unpaid and done by a small group of dedicated volunteers. The Steering Committee, which has 12 women on its busiest night, is actually the volunteer-pool for all the other committees. The point is, we do not have anyone who can co-ordinate all the work necessary to form chapter groups, nor do we have the financial means to fund any other activities. MAW membership fees just cover the production/mailing of Homebase. Any event we hold in Ottawa, such as a Workshop, is held at a community facility for a minimal charge, and we always ask for baked goods and donations to cover the costs. However, we will happily give you enough information and materials so that you can set up a local MAW discussion or reading group and, when you feel up to it, hold a workshop.

What can the Steering Committee do to help facilitate these groups? For a start we can suggest the following:

Reading and Discussion groups: For the reading group we have reading lists, ideas to encourage discussion and suggestions about how to run the actual meetings. Discussion groups are a good place to become acquainted and to develop ideas. Group members should be encouraged to join MAW. Meetings can easily be held in a member's home because, ideally, the number of participants should not exceed eight. We have a list of topics (and dessert suggestions) to help you get started. However, we believe that once you're all in the same room, there should be no problem coming up with your own topics. The feeling of kindred spirits at work just takes over.

Workshops: Workshops can be held once you have a core group willing to put in the time necessary to hold a larger function. Workshops give you an opportunity to meet potential members and to develop a community presence. They also give you a sense of what issues the women in your own community are interested in. We have a list of workshops MAW has held over the years to give you some ideas. We can also supply promotional materials such as fridge magnets and buttons as well as copies of Homebase, the KTRs and Policy papers for sale during the workshop.

Promotion: While we can't help you organize the events, we can help you publicize them. Give us enough notice (see page 3 for Homebase submission deadlines and addresses) and we can include information about your event in Homebase. Or, if you have a flyer, we would be happy to insert it into a MAW mailing for members in your community. We can also advertise on our Web Site - e-mail us at info@mothersarewomen.com . The occasional written update for Homebase about local events or meetings would also be appreciated.

The Steering Committee wants as many active MAW members participating as are willing, but Canada is a huge country so national physical get-togethers are not practical at this time. We will do what we can to encourage the development of local MAW groups. We want to know what's happening in your community, what resources are needed or available and what issues you face as women who have chosen to stay at home and raise your children. Let us know what we can do to help you. Cheers!

Lisa Menard

Welcome to the Flynn Hotel...

by Peggy Flynn

Living on the ocean in a beautiful part of our country has many rewards. The reasons we love our little spot (the hum of the fishing boats past our house in the wee hours of the morning, the screech of the great blue heron and seagulls, the clams the children so enjoy digging and eating from our beach, the canoeing and swimming in safe, clean water or just the beach-combing my three love so much) are the same reasons we have hordes of friends and relatives visit all summer long.

This summer has been particularly brutal - in the six weeks since Canada Day we have had all of five days, scattered here and there, to ourselves. I am not saying that all company is bad company, I'm just exhausted with the sheer volume - sometimes two families overlapping (as many as 14 houseguests at a time!).

Our camper is set up on a very cozy, secluded spot of our property and our tent not too far from that little haven and sometimes they are "booked" solid. Of course, we make it far too appealing, especially for our Ontarian friends most of whom lead hectic lives and have never set foot in the Atlantic Ocean. It's so peaceful here and now so easily accessible - no more lining up for ferries, you just whip across the fixed link in twelve minutes and you have come to a veritable summertime paradise. Peaceful for our guests perhaps but not always for me - the never-ending meals (the never-ending trips to the local food stores!), the constant laundry and unavoidable housework, not to mention three young children to love, entertain, bathe and separate!

To say that this has not been the Summer of my dreams is putting it mildly. When I looked forward to my day surgery as a day off I knew I was in trouble!!!! My psychologist husband not so jokingly says I should work on the word ÒNoÓ (for out-of-town guests of course, not him!) and perhaps he is right. Although I am a strong personality, I also know myself to be generous. I politely say that we have other house/camper guests that week but with a reply like "Oh, we don't mind !" all I can then do is be generous and once again polite when they do arrive.

Yet in all of that stress, two gifts where presented to me. One was the visit of my girlfriend Joyce who was my link to sanity when we moved to this Island. She has since been lured away to Newfoundland and I miss her dearly. It was easy and comfortable to bounce things off of her; she was my only kindred spirit here and I have yet to find another. The second gift was a friend from my university days in Quebec. Hélène and I lost each other for more than a decade, our lives having taken us in different directions and to different ends of the earth. Thanks to her brilliant detective work we found each other, strangely both of us now live in the Maritimes. Friendship is such a wonderful gift - we had gaps to fill in but it felt so easy to slip back into gear with each other. Although I feel physically drained, my soul has been refreshed by these women friends. Now if I could only interest my next year's visitors in breath-taking Cape Breton...

Peggy Flynn lives in Montague, P.E.I. with her husband and three children, Myriem, 7 1/2, Malek almost 5 and Anissa, 3. She'll be happy to send you the "Visitors' Guide"... for Nova Scotia!

Tales from a Tent

by Maureen Langsford

Did you ever see a snake climb a tree? In Canada? In an Ontario provincial park? I had the pleasure this summer. A Black Rat snake, about one metre long, slowly slithered across the footpath I was on, tail shaking warningly. It wound round an old maple tree, then up -straight up, not around and around as I expected. It was a marvel to behold: how it could gain enough purchase in the bark grooves to support its weight; how its entire body followed the same path as the head so that the upward movement was difficult to discern, until you noticed that the head was getting higher and the tail was passing through the spot you were watching. This snake went really high, then out to the very end of a thin branch where its head peered out through the leaf fringe. The park naturalist assured us that Black Rat snakes do not fall out of trees onto unsuspecting hikers, but I didn't feel quite the same after seeing one up there!

As the name implies, these constrictors eat rodents, and farmers love to have them around their barns. They are also endangered, so there is an active campaign to educate campers about them, ensuring that everyone knows that the snakes, though harmless, will bite if provoked but that the bites are not poisonous. I had a few questions late that night, like "If I had to leave my warm sleeping bag to go pee, would I stumble across one out hunting or in the middle of dinner? How would it react to being surprised?" I decided I could wait till morning.

That was the night we all got to sleep without mishap. The night before was a different story. Our almost 3 year old was having her first camping experience this summer and weren't we the clever parents who left her blankey at home? She was having some trouble feeling safe in the dark (and it was DARK) and expressed this anxiety by loudly wailing around midnight. This wasn't regular incoherent hysterics. This was rather very coherent, very loud words. And the words were, "My Bum Hurts! I Need Bum Cream! I WANT TO GO HOOOOME!" We hadn't brought any of that either, she was inconsolable and the Dad was sufficiently FED UP as to seriously consider packing up at that hour and GOING HOME! I don't recall how it stopped, it just did and to our great relief, nobody gave us questioning looks the next morning, or came to throw us out. But we did get to hear a Barred Owl hooting when things did quiet down, because we were awake at that late hour. It was the classic "Who Cooks For You?" hoot and I was thrilled.

Have I mentioned the pit toilets? We were rather near to a set and usually upwind so it was very convenient. Unless you were our 8 year old whose stomach heaves at the thought. With body stiff, face contorting, eyes bulging, she would deny the need to go. No matter how desperate the need, she could not, would not, poop in the pit. No amount of cajoling, bribing, or rosemary-scented hand cream smeared under her nose could get her in there. We simply HAD to drive her to a flush toilet every day!

Well after the first night, we didn't have much in the way of bribes anyway. Raccoons put an end to the sweet treats. We diligently put all our food and the cooler into our trunk like you're supposed to, locked the car, and went to bed. I didn't see how a box of dishes could be of interest to night marauders. But I had forgotten the gummy bears and jelly beans. We went to bed with the kids that night, just as it got dark. (It was raining so we didn't feel compelled to stay up any later.) About 10:30 there was a ruckus in our campsite. With much purring and chittering and general rough and tumble, the raccoons had come. We weren't too concerned except that the party seemed to be going on for a long time. Finally, I grabbed the flashlight and crept out of the tent. There was a family of 7 gathered round the picnic table, with the 3 youngest sitting in our box of dishes. I tried to shoo them off, but they didn't respond. I put the flashlight right in their faces. They didn't budge. Instead they took turns rummaging to the bottom of the box and sat there solemnly chewing until the last jelly bean was gone. Then they casually clambered down and wandered off into the shrubs. I'm pleased to say raccoons got nothing more from us, but they always came snuffling around the tent after we had gone to bed.

When the girls awoke in the morning, it was to discover the sad news about the missing candy, the muddy footprints all over the table cloth, and the empty zippered lunch bag which had once contained the plums. However, great relief was felt all around when they learned that the marshmallows had been spared. To celebrate, we had a campfire that night and roasted some. That's when we learned about Ellen's fear of fire. Hysterically afraid. She couldn't bring herself to get close enough for her marshmallow even to get warm. She was convinced the tent would ignite, or at the very least, we would burn the forest down. So much for sitting around the fire and thinking profound thoughts. Put the fire out and get these sticky kids to bed!

Half way through the week, we had figured out how to get Jillian to sleep without all of us going to bed with her. Then we had time to take our decaf coffee out on the rocky ledge at the lake shore and gaze in absolute awe at the Milky Way. I haven't seen the stars like that since I was a kid. It was truly dizzying.

All things considered, it was a very full week, inducing a full range of emotions and experiences. The brief encounters with the wonders of nature were more powerful than all the little irritations of family life, which have been reduced, in retrospect, to comedy anyway. Will we go back? You bet! Maureen Langsford and her family are grateful to their wonderful neighbours who brought a new car battery to Charleston Lake so that the car could make it home from their fabulous vacation. She has finally finished canning, stewing, freezing, etc. the 150 pounds of tomatoes that grew in her garden this summer.

Travels With My Ex

by Evelyn Drescher

I'm not quite sure how I made it from the kitchen floor to the camping site. Let me explain. The marriage ended one morning at 8 am, before coffee or breakfast, over the empty cat food bowl. I got up bruised and battered from the kitchen floor and threw his rubber boots after him as he left. Two and half years later we are going camping with the kids. Together - in separate cars, with separate tents - one child in each.

Eyebrows were raised when I told my friends about this excursion. No, I assured them reconciliation wasn't in sight - most definitely. No, I hadn't lost my senses; I didn't fear more violence (although many a woman has said this and suffered for it). My therapist, the wise soul that she is, shook her head but held her counsel. My ex and I had simply reached a point in the post-divorce period where a certain civility allowed us to do what was best for the kids. This camping trip would be good for them. And it was. The photos show it and tales of their camping adventures are pressed upon friends, family and the woman in front of us at the grocery store alike.

But I'm not sure how I did it. It was incongruous. The picture perfect family on a picture perfect vacation. Like those moments in quiet public places when you want to scream just to dispel the silence, I wanted to shout the reality of situation. I wanted to wear a T-shirt saying, "I'm with them, not with him!" I wanted a large neon sign to flash above the camp site "We're a family, not a couple!" But breaking that kind of silence is hard for me.

There were in fact no disturbances on the trip except a flash of anger over the placement of the cooking stove. It is the familiarity and regularity of things that made it all so surreal. I roasted marshmallows, shook sand out of sleeping bags, cooked dinners, cleaned up, etc. He chopped fire wood, went for walks with the kids, made the morning coffee, likewise roasted marshmallows, etc. We talked of practical things - the safe territory - and avoided anything remotely resembling intimate contact, literally and figuratively.

It reminded me of the good periods during the last years of our relationship - where both of us held ourselves in and struggled for self-preservation, however differently we understood that essential thing. There too, routine and restraint kept the universe ordered. But, to use a literary turn of phrase which succinctly implies the chaos of rage - the centre did not hold. He walked out the door as the coffee was brewing.

Now, more or less self-intact, we camp in separate tents; and are respectful of the privilege that our children have allowed us to share their campsite with them.

Evelyn looks forward to more camping trips with her family.

Our Children's Health and the Environment

A Report on "What On Earth - A National Symposium on Environmental Contaminants"

by Diane Beckett

As any parent knows, the state of the environment is directly impacting on the health of our children. Kids play and roll on the grass - which is too often sprayed with pesticides. They consume amazing quantities of one type of food when on a food jag - yet recommendations for food additives and pesticide residues are based on more moderate consumption. They spend inordinate amounts of time in the sun - while we continue to destroy the protective ozone layer.

Parents bear the responsibility of protecting their children's health. Yet the information available on how to reduce the negative impacts of environmental contaminants and environmental degradation is scarce, often incomplete, and usually based on research on adults. Thus I was excited to discover that the Canadian Institute of Child Health (CICH) has begun a two-year initiative to examine environmental contaminants and the implications for child health. Through a symposium, a literature review, and various surveys, the initiative will examine the many health problems associated with the air children breathe, the foods they eat and the areas where they play. Out of this will come information on current programmes and initiatives, a needs assessment and outreach.

The Symposium

In May, CICH hosted a two-day national symposium, "What On Earth - A National Symposium on Environmental Contaminants," which provided a forum for Canadian and international experts to share ideas and develop a framework for action. This symposium, the first of its kind in Canada, was attended by a wide variety of people including advocates for the learning disabled and environmentally sensitive children, representatives from a Toronto neighbourhood that has been contaminated by lead, doctors, government officials, scientists, as well as business, industry and retail representatives (including Nestle, Canadian Tire and Cominco), native people, farmers, and representatives of environmental and health advocacy organizations.

The conference kit alone provided a wealth of information and resources on a variety of topics including the importance of breastfeeding, the evils of tobacco smoke, as well as concerns about pesticides, air pollution, childhood cancer, hormone disrupters, neurotoxicants, and the relationship between asthma and air quality. The conference sessions built on this information. Sessions explored how contaminants affect the endocrine, reproductive and immune systems often by mimicking or blocking natural hormones, looked at the impact of environmental contaminants on the fetus, on brain development and on the aging process, addressed concerns about indoor as well as outdoor air pollution, and examined the adequacy of the system that regulates the chemicals and additives in our food.

Children are not Small Adults

The symposium organizers ensured that all participants understood that children are not just small adults. Children are uniquely vulnerable to environmental contamination due to differences in their lifestyles and how their bodies function. For example, children grow quickly and are more active, and thus breathe more air and eat more food per body weight. Furthermore, they breathe different air than adults. Ninety per cent of a toddler's life is spent indoors near the floor. Ventilation from windows benefits adults but has little affect on the movement of air at the toddler's level. In addition, most homes are carpeted. One scientist at the conference stated that carpets are apartment homes for organisms and can concentrate contaminates brought in on shoes.

There are biological differences as well between adults and children. This makes them especially susceptible to negative impacts of toxicants which may have no discernible effect on adults. For example, children's gastro-intestinal track absorbs more easily. The average absorption rate for infants up to one year is 42% to 53% while adults absorptive rate is only 7% to 15%. Children's skin absorbs more as well, which again increases their exposure to contaminants.

In addition, there are particularly critical and sensitive periods for children, especially from preconception to the first few years of life. It was pointed out that preconception goes back a long way to the time when the mother of the child was in utero. This is when the mother's eggs, which provide half the genetic material for her children, are formed. The blood-brain barrier is immature in the fetus and in infants up to one year old making the quickly developing brain additionally vulnerable. The excretion system is immature up to one year and the immune system up to three years.

Fetuses grow even more quickly than children and thus are even more vulnerable, particularly the processes of cell differentiation and brain development. The placenta is not a perfect barrier for protecting the fetus. Alcohol and metals are just two known examples of substances which can cross the placenta and damage the fetus.

Another time of particular sensitivity is puberty, with the development of the reproductive organs.

The keynote speaker, Dr. Clyde Hertzman, compared children to the canaries that were once taken into the mines to warn miners of the poison gas because the birds succumbed to the gas before people. Children's systems are more sensitive and are affected before adults. Yet the conference presenters explained that the regulatory systems that do exist are designed to protect adults. Most research is done on adults and the health and safety regulations that result are based on the effects on adults. The results are extrapolated to children, not taking into account the myriad of ways that children respond differently. Children are usually add-ons.

Health is More than Just the Absence of Disease

Conference participants were reminded that health is more than just the absence of disease. It includes access to good quality air, water and food. Yet it is widely acknowledged that every Canadian child is exposed to widespread low levels of pollution through air, water and food.

The impact of widespread low levels of pollution - a complex mix of chemicals interacting in the environment and in children's bodies - is very difficult and expensive to monitor and understand. Scientists at the conference repeatedly pointed out how little is known about the effects of low levels of a combination of chemicals.

However, much more is known and understood than is generally recognized. Scientists emphasized that many studies on animals show that there are negative impacts of certain contaminants on animals. The scientists stated that there is an incredible correlation between animal and human research. The definitive human research will often never be carried out either because it is unethical to carry out such research on humans or because it is too expensive. The scientists requested that they be permitted to draw conclusions that certain contaminants are likely to harm people based on results in animals. They stated that we as a society have to stop requiring that harm of humans must be proven before action can be taken.

The scientists presented other information that they believe compels us to act. Increasingly, they stated, it is recognized that for many contaminants there is no threshold below which a contaminant has no negative impact. In many cases animals exposed to certain contaminants seem perfectly fine until they are put under a small stress. Or the effects show up years later, as cancer or as accelerated aging.

The scientists reminded us that the absence of proof that there are negative impacts does not imply that there is no negative impact. The less we know about a chemical the safer it appears. Seventy per cent of the major chemicals which are produced have no toxicological data. A total of 60,000 chemicals are commonly used.

The scientists emphasized that we should be careful in interpreting data, as too often significant impacts are ignored. Often a small measurable shift in the characteristics of a population can mask significant effects in certain sub-groups of that population. For example, a study showed that exposure to lead reduced IQ averages from 100 to 98, an insignificant difference. An examination of the sub-groups in the study showed that no kids with high IQs had detectable lead levels, yet all kids with low IQs had high lead levels. There were 4 times as many mentally retarded kids and 3 times fewer gifted kids in this high lead group than was the norm.

Scientists also described how the effects of contamination may not show up for years. DES (diethylstilbestrol) was used to illustrate this point. The side effects of DES , which was administered to women to reduce miscarriages, showed up 20 years later when a large increase in a rare form of cancer in women was noticed. It was traced to DES administered to their mothers. This triggered additional investigations in the children of women who were administered DES. Other effects included: lower fertility in women, small testes and penises, lower sperm quality, volume and motility. These effects hadn't even been noticed until the upsurge of a rare cancer spurred additional investigations.

Because DES was administered by doctors and documented in medical files, it could be identified. We don't have the same ability to identify the impacts of environmental contaminants. It is interesting to note that reproductive changes similar to those noticed in the children of women administered DES are being reported for wildlife around the Great Lakes. A representative from the Canadian Wildlife Service of Environment Canada attended the conference eager to make contacts with organizations and groups who could take the data, research and conclusions they have from their years of research on animals and ecosystems and use it to help understand children's health and the environment. I hope she made lots of connections.

The scientists state there is emerging evidence that shows there are definite measurable negative effects from environmental contaminants on humans. Research on which contaminants have which effects have been conducted and were presented at the conference. The damages identified include immune system effects, neurological and behavioural effects, respiratory health effects, an increase in childhood cancers, and delayed effects such as an earlier onset of old age and perhaps reduced fertility. Often the interaction of environmental chemicals in combination with poor nutrition or nurturing can exacerbate situations which wouldn't have a huge impact alone.

Aboriginal and Poor Children are Especially at Risk

The conference put special emphasis on two groups of children particularly exposed to environmental contaminants - poor children and aboriginal children. Poor children too often live downstream, downwind and downhill from pollution sources and are thus exposed to more contaminants. In addition the quality of their housing is often poor, exposing them to additional contaminants. Issues of nutrition and nurturing in combination with environmental contamination may result in a combination of factors causing significant negative impacts on a child where children from a less disadvantaged situation may not be significantly affected. Stress has also been identified as a significant multiplier of the negative effects of environmental contaminants.

Aboriginal children are especially exposed to environmental contaminants, ironically through the country foods they consume. This is especially a problem for northern aboriginals where the contaminants are carried in on air currents from Asia, Europe and industrialized parts of North America. The contaminants bio-accumulate in the very short food webs of the north. Reducing consumption of country foods will only further destroy the culture of the native people. The Next Step

This conference moved us toward a new understanding of how to address the issue of children's health and the environment. The scientists strongly insisted that we must develop a system of assessing the risks of environmental contaminants that puts children at the centre of the public policy and regulatory approaches. They stated that children must be a research priority.

Unfortunately, the representatives of the government regulatory bodies at the sessions I attended downplayed the problems and dangers. They stated that things were under control, known, and the regulatory systems were adequate. They were reluctant to address research gaps and areas of scientific concern, and dismissed concerns raised by the audience.

It was also unfortunate that the non-governmental representatives at the sessions I attended were panel moderators. This muted their ability to ask some of the knowledgeable and penetrating questions that needed to be asked. Thus the audience lost a valuable opportunity to try to develop a bridge between the scientists who pointed in directions of potential concern but were reluctant to be definitive with the current levels of knowledge, and the representatives from the regulatory agencies who felt we know enough to know that our system is adequately protecting us.

Other forces are reducing our ability to deal with this issue. The research abilities of Environment Canada and Health Canada are being greatly reduced and in many cases even dismantled. Can we afford to continue to deregulate, harmonize and download when it will only result in a further erosion of our ability to protect our kids?

Next the Canadian Institute of Child Health will be holding consultations across the country to attempt to move the agenda forward. Will you be involved? Contact CICH at 885 Meadowlands Drive East, Suite 512, Ottawa, Ont. K2C 3N2. (613) 224-4144.

Note: Health Minister Allan Rock seems determined to continue the dismantling of the Health Protection Branch which is responsible for verifying the safety of everything from food to medical devices. Leaving the manufacturers in charge of product safety seems imprudent at the very least given given such historical examples as thalidomide and DES, not to mention ongoing concern with the fat substitute olestra and the milk-producing additive bovine growth hormone. If these issues concern you, please write and let the government know at: Honourable Allan Rock, Minister of Health, House of Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A OA6

Evolution or Revolution?

by Peggy Proctor

There are three books that have changed my life. One is about anger, another is about economics, and the other is about anger over economics. My own focus and interests have always involved people. I have never taken any class in accounting or economics, nor had any desire to. So it comes as some surprise to me, then, that I feel compelled to share my thoughts with you on how economics can change your outlook on life.

The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner (1985) assists us in accepting responsibility for the various relationships in our life. As the subtitle (A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships) suggests, this is a users' guide to your emotional health. Escape becomes possible from the happiness "trap" (ie. I would be happy if only he or she would just do this, or not do that). The process of claiming personal control over one's own life despite the demands of partner, parents, siblings or kids is described in easy to read style. I did not say this control comes easily, as lasting change never seems to happen in a smooth or simple fashion. The negative energy wasted on anger can drain the happiness from our life... the realization that it is a personal choice to be happy, or angry, or cheerful, or gloomy, is an important concept. Lerner describes the patterns of behaviour in our intimate relationships as a "circular dance in which the behaviour of each serves to maintain and provoke that of the other. Once we are a part of an established twosome - married or unmarried, lesbian or straight - we may easily become caught in such a dance." The book goes on to describe how all women can turn anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives, for changing the steps of the dance.

Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (1992) justifies our conviction that "consume, consume, consume" and economic "growth, growth, growth" (based on consume, consume, consume) is killing our planet. We learn how the constant push for a higher standard of living does indeed have moral, ethical, cultural, spiritual, environmental, and political consequences. The fuel for all this economic "growth comes from the earth's natural resources. As this quote from the prologue informs us,"

"Today we must expand our financial road map beyond our own family, beyond even our own...community, and include all the world's peoples. Further, considering the major environmental problems we are facing worldwide, we must expand to include the natural world. Simply said, The Planet is now our community."

How can it be that millions of women and children are homeless for want of affordable housing, yet I park my car in its own house? I even have a $250 widget that opens and closes the door of my car's house! When is enough enough?! Dominguez and Robin suggest that you "identify for yourself a point of maximum fulfillment." Then you quit consuming for the sake of "more is better" and be happy with what you have.

If Women Counted, A New Feminist Economics by Marilyn Waring (1988) was suggested to me as a resource on the topic of unpaid work. This has been my summer of '97 reading and WOW!! I am still reeling from the impact. No mindless love story on the deck at the cottage here! If I thought I didn't need to care about acronyms like GNP (Gross National Product) and UNSNA (United Nations System of National Accounts) and IMF (International Monetary Fund), I was wrong. I now care passionately about these things. Gloria Steinem says it so succinctly in her introduction: "Marilyn Waring changes our world view." There is actually no such thing as boring old "economics" separate from women/children/society/life on our planet....all is connected and interconnected. If Women Counted provides an introduction to the players, the language of economics, and a brief history (his-story) of how the national accounts came into being. Then chapter after chapter outlining the "unaccounted for" invisible and incredible work of women the world over. Work as producers and reproducers, caregivers and sustainers of life. It verifies what you and I already know; the immense value of the daily work of women is largely unacknowledged and unappreciated in any formal sense. Many parallels are drawn in the book between the treatment of Mother Earth and the treatment of women and children in the system. Waring describes our present situation where mountain streams, clean air, national parks, lakes and beaches are unaccounted for and therefore without "value" on the ledger sheets of the world. Now doesn't that sound familiar??

The conundrum in which I now find myself is that I am filled with anger (thanks, Marilyn Waring).... just when I so smugly assumed that old "anger problem" was under control. Each of these books has helped provide key pieces as I fit together the puzzle of my life as a woman, a mother, a feminist, and a global citizen. Harriet Lerner claims that I can use my anger in the service of change. Robin and Dominguez dedicate their book to those "actively engaged in leaving our planet in better shape that they found it." And Marilyn Waring calls us to action with the challenge "what we can do....is inhibited only by our imagination." The responsibility and duty of you and I as MAW members is to use our collective imagination.....

A respected mentor of mine is fond of reminding me that evolution, not revolution, is the preferred path in facilitating change. I am not sure that Mother Earth and the people that inhabit Her have time for evolution. In fact, I thought maybe I could help MAW lead the revolution (with those leadership skills I've acquired in countless unpaid hours of volunteer work, and all that experience in household management). I have plenty of energy and motivation and as for time....OOPS...is that my baby crying? (he needs nursing)...my preschooler demanding? (he needs lunch)...my preteen calling? (he needs attention)...

Maybe, still, I can help. Maybe I will somehow find the means and the strength to raise these three, privileged white males of mine to be agents of change, visionaries with social conscience, and environmentalists with respect for Mother Earth and all Her gifts.

Amen.

Thanks to the inspiration of MAW, Peggy Proctor is taking her first small steps toward social activism. She hopes to share this journey with her sons Mitchell, Nolan and Lynden.

Mothers, meeting

by Lisa Zanyk

We are strung together
This night
Gathering up the communal threads in our lives
working the patches,
patching the work,
No quiet between us, but instead
our politics, our convictions,
our private agendas giving rise to collective protest;
Our laughter stitching us up, our fears, our growing common agreement that we no longer like sex with men
and find ourselves wondering how it would be with each other.
Some are attendant in their absence, home nursing sick children,
this collection of fatigued mothers who want the world better
for our daughters, our sons.

Moments, we're still little girls on the playground, trading hair doodles and stories, wondering how we got here so fast; except now we know too much to have remained.
And frequently funny stories bring tears.

On this night
we read
to each other.
Words we've written,
words we've heard,
others have invoked
words to somehow name the clichés of our lives.
Lost babies, lost youth, lost mothers and marriages, lost dreams woven into smaller,
wiser, accomplishments,
Stringing up the wordbeads, that bind us in motherlove.


Once I dream of other mothers feeding my baby with their breasts.


On another day, a different group of women collects
shares tea and cake, a real grown-up tea party,
and some are sewing teddy bears,
and this time the thread is a shower of gifts for another mother's baby.

Lisa writes: This poem was inspired by the Mothers Are Women Annual General Meeting held in February, 1997

Christmas Myth Weaving

by Susan Robins

As the holidays approach, our family assembles a very special Christmas craft; we weave our family myth of Santa Claus. It is a myth that has built up over the years, as my children get older and are eager for more details (as in, "show me on a map where the North Pole is, mama").

Santa Claus, his sleigh, reindeer, workshop and Mrs. Claus serve as cornerstones for the story; but my husband and I add our own gentle, left-leaning, feminist-approved details. Our Santa works in tandem with Ms. Claus, a very capable woodworker who supervises the building of the toys. Our elves are both male and female, as are the reindeer. Santa's gifts are not rewards for good behaviour; we avoid the bit about being "good" or "bad" girls and boys. We consider gifts (and handcrafted ones are best) as well-thought out personal expressions of our love.

I have heard seemingly progressive chants which declare, "down with Santa!" That the jolly man with the white beard is really a greedy, mean old guy who works for the toy companies. That particular commercialized Santa does not see the light of day in our house and he does not have to set foot in yours, either. The Santa Claus story can be anything you make it. We do not follow the canned scripts of the clearance rack Christmas story books to create our own family traditions.

Perhaps some of the disenchantment with Santa Claus is his commercial embodiment as a man. (Funny how there is another white man with a white beard floating about in our spiritual tales). And a rotund white man at that. Ms. Claus does not have to be a doting shadow, hovering about with tea and cookies in hand. Why not give her a more appropriate role? Just because the Santa in the local shopping mall is white, does not mean that the Santa in your house is Caucasian, too. Make your story fit your family. It is your story, after all.

Please don't tell me that we are lying to our children. Weaving a magical story which brings joy to a wee person's heart does not constitute lying in my books. When I discovered that Santa was not "real" when I was about seven years old, I recall no trauma, no hand-wringing and no tears. Only a realization about how much my parents must have loved me to keep the myth of Santa real all those years. They passed the Santa torch to me, which I kept lit for my brother, five years my junior.

I do agree with the Santa critics that the commercialism surrounding Christmas is horrific. I don't think anybody would quibble with that point. But, the commercialism does not just focus on, "What Santa is going to bring you," but on "What everybody is going to bring you," Santa included. And, the commercialism is rampant at other times...Easter, Valentine's, Back to School, and Mother's Day. It is not poor ole Santa's fault! In fact, the Santas at our house attempt to shield our children from this commercial aspect as much as possible. Our kids only watch videos and CBC Playground; no commercials grace our screens. Granted, commercialism creeps into our house in other ways - via flyers and catalogues. But we are the parents. We can control what our children do and do not see.

I realize I may be treading on unprogressive ground. Oh, but the excitement and joy in Isaac's big brown three year old eyes when he woke up on Christmas Day to realize Santa had visited our house and eaten his cookies (leaving crumbs, of course) and drunk the milk. The presents were really just secondary. He'll discover that Santa is not real soon enough. Some kid will gleefully pop his balloon with the "truth" once he starts school. Along with that will be the gradual realization that his parents are not infallible, and that Santa Claus is actually two rather frazzled plump thirty something parents (sans beards) keeping their children children as long as they can.

Susan Robins embraces her life as a stay-at-home mama to her children Isaac (age 4) and Ella (age 1). She's still recovering from the trauma of moving cross-Canada from Edmonton to Winnipeg, but finds comfort in her children, feminist e-mail groups, her dear love Mr. H., and La Leche League mamas.

Homebase Magazine 1997 ©

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